One of the funniest things to me about Seinfeld is the way that Kramer, ostensibly the screw-up of the group, occasionally has these moments of brilliance. There are times throughout the series where Kramer surprises you with his ability to influence people. He’s weird and funky and a little creepy, but he sure is charismatic. And he’s an effortless salesman, as it turns out.
One of my favorite Kramer moments comes in Season 5, Episode 10: “The Cigar Store Indian.” The titular Indian statue, a gift from Jerry to Elaine, has offended multiple people (and one Native American person multiple times) and Elaine wants nothing to do with it. Kramer, on the other hand, believes it may be worth something, so he takes it off her hands and starts searching for a buyer. Meanwhile, he’s struck with an idea: Why not publish a coffee table book about celebrity coffee tables?
The idea is roundly rejected by the characters as silly, particularly by Elaine, who works for a publishing company. Kramer isn’t deterred, though. He believes in the idea.
Opportunity meets preparation as Kramer bumps into Elaine’s boss at the publishing company, Mr. Lippman. Lippman offers to buy the cigar store Indian from Kramer. As they head into the offices of Pendant Publishing to complete the transaction, the following exchange takes place:
LIPPMAN: (entering, smoking a cigar and with a handful of cash) Listen uh, petty cash just had tens and twenties. (hands cash to Kramer) Go ahead, count it.
KRAMER: Yeah, I’m sure it’s all here. (puts in in his pocket) You know I was
just admiring your coffee table, out there in the hall.
LIPPMAN: You like that, huh? I had that custom made for me in Santa Fe.
KRAMER: You mind if I use it in my book?
LIPPMAN: What book?
KRAMER: Well, I’m doing a coffee table book on coffee tables.
LIPPMAN: About coffee tables?
Elaine is pulling skeptical faces.
KRAMER: Uh huh.
LIPPMAN: That’s fantastic. (Elaine looks gobsmacked) Who’s your publisher?
KRAMER: Well, I’m still shopping it around.
LIPPMAN: Yeah? (to Elaine) You see, this is the kind of idea you should be
coming in with.
I get the fact that this scene is a joke at Elaine’s expense, but I think that there is some pretty cool mojo that Kramer is using here to make the sale.
Kramer really believes in his idea
It’s a silly idea (that only gets sillier when he later demonstrates to Regis Philbin the attached legs that transform the book itself into a coffee table), but good luck convincing Kramer of that. His friends dismiss it over and over throughout this episode, but when the opportunity arises, Kramer doesn’t second-guess himself. He offers the pitch with confidence. There’s even a moment where Lippman asks for clarification, where a lesser salesperson might have started backpedaling and qualifying, but Kramer is unflappable.
Not all silly ideas that are pitched this way succeed, but 100% of the ones we don’t bother to pitch at all never get off the ground. Did you know that a lot of people thought that the internet was a silly idea? Or home electricity? What’s laughable today may become something we take for granted later.
Kramer finds common ground with Lippman
Something as simple as a compliment can open up a conversation that leads to a sale. Kramer currently has an interest in coffee tables, and when he notices that Lippman has a very nice, custom coffee table in his office, he realizes that they have something in common. By commenting on it, he can determine whether his realization is correct. He can judge the depth of Lippman’s interest in the topic before making his pitch. Getting to know someone helps build trust and rapport, but it also shows you the avenues you can use to get to the sale.
Kramer soft sells
Kramer is keenly aware that he is in a good position to sell his idea. Earlier, when Lippman invites him (very specifically) to the Pendant Publishing office, Kramer eagerly replies, “Giddy-up!” He’s been talking about getting his idea to a publisher all episode.
Despite his excitement, he plays it cool and lets Lippman advance the conversation. He casually mentions his idea and gives a simple pitch that says it all to his audience: “I’m doing a coffee table book on coffee tables.” Kramer stops there, and lets Lippman make the offer: “Who’s your publisher?” Now it’s clear to Kramer that he’s putting Pendant in a position to make him an offer, and he passes the ball back to Lippman for that opportunity: “I’m still shopping it around.” Maybe you can convince me to give it to you. The power dynamics are totally shifted.
The conversation is framed as Kramer asking Lippman for a favor
To me, this is the subtle brilliance of Kramer’s soft sell. He doesn’t just tell Lippman his idea: He asks if Lippman would like his coffee table to be included in the book. We can imagine the thoughts running through Lippman’s head:
- Flattery. “You want to show off my coffee table in a book? That’s cool.”
- Approval. “This guy has great taste. I like him.”
- Intrigue. “In what kind of book would a coffee table be so important?”
- Coveting. “Maybe we can use this guy’s idea to make money.”
- Curiosity. “I have to know more about this.”
Now it’s not up to Kramer to do the heavy-lifting in the conversation. Lippman wants to show off his coffee table to as many people as possible, and Kramer is offering him that opportunity. He just has to answer Lippman’s questions with confidence and reel him in.
Sell like Kramer. Have confidence in your ideas. Make sure that you establish common ground with your prospect through conversation. Use your common interests to soft sell, and make sure that the prospect feels included and invested in the success of the idea. A coffee table book about celebrity coffee tables seems absurd, but so do Crocs. If you can make people see the benefits, any idea can be successful.
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Acknowledgements for the scene transcript go to Seinfeld Scripts, a website dedicated to preserving every line from the classic sitcom.
